Sexual Expressivity - LGBTQIA Healthcare Guild

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Myths and Facts about Sexual Expression and Older People


Sexual activity and the expression of sexual identity is a basic human right and important for emotional wellbeing. Sexual identity includes concepts of body image, self-esteem, self-perception, sexuality, intimacy and sexual preferences. Sexual expression can be challenging for a number of reasons. Firstly, it may challenge staff who don’t expect older people to be sexual. Consequently, staff may be shocked and uncomfortable when people express themselves sexually. Staff may not have been taught how to respond when sexual expression occurs, or when they find out someone they are caring for is gay, lesbian or bisexual. Secondly, the provision of services in the client’s home may mean that staff encountering sexual expression may feel unsure, unprotected or isolated....


Blogs, Communities, and Resources Related to Sexual Expression


Bannon.com is founded on the premise that all sexualities and relationships between caring, consenting adults are good and valid as long as they add rather than detract from the joy, pleasure and personal growth in our lives. So if you’re an adult of legal age and you want to find out more about the world of sex and relationship options, this site is for you.


Sex Positive Activism On-Line Blog From the editor: This blog includes concepts of an adult nature. Topics will definitely include polyamory, kink, queerness, and gender.  I believe that in order to make our world more sex-positive, we must open our mouths about sexuality and have some frank discussion.  I try to warn before a cut for very explicit sexual language, but you should expect to see discussion of topics including kinky lifestyles, anatomy, pornography, and sex work.  If you are under the legal age where you live, I highly recommend Scarleteen, an amazing sex-education website for young adults.

Scarleteen is an independent, grassroots sexuality education and support organization and website. Founded in 1998, Scarleteen.com is visited by around three-quarters of a million diverse people each month worldwide, most between the ages of 15 and 25. It is the highest-ranked website for sex education and sexuality advice online and has held that rank through most of its tenure.



CARAS - Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities


CARAS is dedicated to the support and promotion of excellence in the study of alternative sexualities, and the dissemination of research results to the alternative sexuality communities, the public, and the research community.



Sexual Intelligence - Kinky and Non-Kinky Sex are NOT Opposites


by Mary Klein, PhD


Last week I keynoted the annual conference of CARAS (Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities). I presented "Clinical, cultural, and personal narratives about alternative sexualities." My goal was to examine the common ways people think about "alternative" (or "kinky") sexuality--and how that affects everyone, no matter what kind of sex they're into. The general attitude about kinky sex and its practitioners among the media, civic organizations, and medical-psychological professions is pretty negative. They accept or even promote horrible misinformation ("Perverts want to recruit teens into their lifestyle"). They use glamorous but bizarre cases to condemn ordinary choices ("S/M scene leads to murder!"). Too many shrinks assume that people are into kinky sex because they were abused as children-a popular idea with no basis in fact. The stereotype is that people into kinky sex:


• Fear intimacy
• Can't enjoy non-kinky sex
• Do kinky sex constantly
• Intensify their desires over time
• Are into pain
• Aggressively recruit others
• Have no boundaries
• Are psychologically broken


While each of these is certainly true of one or another individual who's into kinky sex (as it is in any large group of people), it in no way characterizes the entire population. But this stereotype does accomplish something: it creates an other. Just like Islamic terrorists are a foreign "other" (appearing just in time to replace Communists as America's favorite demon), people into kinky sex have been constructed as a domestic "other." The general impression of kinky people is that they are a special, identifiable group, different from the schoolteachers, dentists, grocery clerks, and bus drivers we encounter every day. Different from "us." And unlike "us," dangerous. This idea hurts everyone. It obviously hurts self-identified kinky people. It undermines their health care, their legal rights (it's used against people in custody battles and zoning hearings), and their self-esteem. Negative stereotypes of kink also hurt people who don't identify as kinky. "Kinky sex" is a vague, flexible category-and sexuality is by its very nature ambiguous. If you tingle when you're playfully spanked, are you "kinky?" What about a couple who like to pretend that one of them is forcing the other to do something? What about calling your partner "daddy" during sex? Aye, papi, aye, aye, papito! But if practicing kinky sex makes you "other," not one of "us," if it has non-sexual implications, if it means you're defective or dangerous-who wants that? And so as "kinky sex" and its practitioners are demonized, everyone is concerned--am I one of "those people?" It makes people fear their fantasies or curiosity, which then acquire too much power. It leads to secrecy between partners, as people withhold information about their preferences or experiences. In contrast to negative and inaccurate ideas about kinky sex, practitioners themselves and specially-trained, sympathetic professionals tend to have more positive attitudes about kinky sex, describing it as:


• Flexible
• Playful
• Not dependent on gender roles
• Not dependent on ideas of what's "normal"
• Involving lots of communication
• Involving lots of imagination
• Helpfully expanding the definition of "sex"


In truth, this characterizes some kinky sex some of the time. Otherwise, it's often just, well, sex. A little hair-pulling, a playful dare, a toy here and there, maybe a finger in the butt and some nasty whispering (all consensual, of course-if it isn't consensual, it's violence. That's Kink 101). It's really important to get more accurate information about kink into the hands of doctors, journalists, politicians, and TV producers. And it's equally important to educate everyone about how common these kinds of alternative sexual behaviors are (there are tens of thousands of sex clubs, leather retailers, and kinky sex classes out there, all trying to make a buck; you do the math). In addition, here's a more radical approach: I'd like to destroy the idea of binary contrast--that kinky and non-kinky sex are clearly different. Instead, I suggest that kinky and vanilla sex are parts of a continuum, the wide range of human eroticism. We all slide side to side along that continuum during our lives, sometimes in a single week. We don't need to fear our fantasies, curiosity, or (consensual) sexual preferences. They don't make us bad or different, just human. Some people like being emotional outlaws. They'll always find a way to get the frisson of otherness. But most people don't want to live that way. So ending kink's status as dangerous and wrong, and its practitioners as "other," is the most liberating thing we can do--for everyone.




FetLife.com and Alt.com online Social Network for Alternative Sexual Expression - List of Fetishes


FetLife is one of the largest Social Networks similar to Facebook, but designed exclusively for the BDSM (bondage/sado-masochism), alternative sexual expression (kink), & fetish community.



Alt.com is exclusively devoted to kink & BDSM dating communities. 





A

Abduction, Abrasion Play, Accents, Age Play, Anal, Anal Beads, anal chastity, anal hooks, Anal Sex, Anal Stretching, anal training, androgyny, anime, Anonymous Encounters, armbinders, armpits, Art Erotica, artistic cutting, asian, Asphyxiaphilia, Ass Play, Ass to Mouth, Ass worship, attention, Auralism,


B

Bald Girls, Ball Gags, Ball Kicking, Ball Stretching, Ballbusting, Ballet Boots/Shoes, Bare Bottom Spanking, Bare Handed Spanking, barefoot, Bastinado, Bathroom Use Control, BBW Bondage, BBW/BHM, BDSM, begging, behavior modification, bellydancing, belt spanking, belt whippings, Ben Wa Balls, big tits, Bimboification, bisexuality, Biting, black men, Black women, Blindfolds, Blogging, Blood, Bloodplay, blow jobs, blushing, Body Hair, Body Modification, Body Paint, Body Worship, Bondage, bondage art, Bondage Equipment, Bondage Tape, Boot, boot blacking, Boot licking, boot worship, Boss/Secretary, Braces, Branding, Brats, Breast Bondage, Breast Spanking, breast whipping, Breast/Nipple Torture, breastfeeding, breasts, Breath Play, breeding, Bruises, Bukkake, bullwhips, Burlesque, Business Suits, butches, Butt Plugs,


C

Caging/Confinement, Candle Wax, Caning, Caressing, Casting, Castration, catheters, Catsuits, CBT, Cell Popping, Chains, Chakra energy play, chaps, Chastity, Chastity Devices, cheerleading uniforms, Chocolate, choking, Cigars, Clamps and Clips, claws, Cling Film, clit pumping, clit spanking, Clit Torture, Clothespins, Clover Clamps, Clowns, Cock and Ball Torture, Cock Milking, cock slapping, Cock Worship, cocksucking, Collar and Lead/Leash, Collars, Consensual nonconsent, control, cornertime, Corporal Punishment, Corset Cinching, corset piercing, corset training, corsetry, Corsets, cosplay, Costumes/Dressing-up, Covert Bondage, crawling, creampie, crops, Cross Dressing, crucifixion, Crying, Cuckold, Cuddles, cum, Cunnilingus, cunt torture, Cunt Worship, Cupping, Cutting, cyber sex,


D

D/s, Dacryphilia, Daddy Daughter roleplay, Daddy/girl, damsels in distress, decorative cutting, Deep Throating, Defilement, Degradation, Denim, Depilation/Shaving, Diapers, Dildos, Discipline, Doctor/Nurse Play, dollification, Domestic Servitude, Domination, Double Penetration, Douching, Duct Tape,


E

E-Stim, Edge Play, Electrical Play, Electrotorture, emotional masochism, Emotional Sadism, Encasement Fetish, Enemas, Energy Play, erotic hypnosis, Erotic Literature, Erotic Photography, Exhibitionism, eye contact restrictions,


F

Face Farting, Face Fucking, Face sitting/smothering, Face Slapping, Facial Hair, Fear, Feathers, feet, Female Ejaculation, female humiliation, Female Supremacy, FemDom, feminization, Fetish Models, Fetish Wear, fetnights, Figging, fingering, fingernails, Fire Cupping, Fire Flogging, Fire Play, fish hooks, Fishnets, Fisting, Flashing, Flesh Hooks, Flirting, Flogging, Food Play, Foot Massage, Foot Worship, Foot/Feet, forniphilia, Freckles, French Maids, fucking machines, Fur,


G

Gagging/Choked by Cock, Gags, Gangbangs, Gas Masks, gay bondage, gay sex, geeks, Geisha, gender play, genital piercings, genital torture, Glass Dildos, Glasses, glory hole, gloves, Golden Showers, Gor, Gorean slave positions, Goth, graphoerotica, Grooming, group sex, Gun Play,


H

hair, hair bondage, Hair Pulling, hairbrush spanking, Handcuffs, handjobs, Hands, Hanging, head shaving, hemp rope, Hentai, High Heels, High Protocol, Hojojutsu, hoods, hook suspension, Hot Oil Massages, human ashtray, Human Doll, human furniture, human toilet, Humiliation, Humor, Hypnosis,


I

Ice Cubes, impact play, Impregnation Fantasy, Incest Play, Infantilism, Infidelity, inflatables, intelligence, Internal Enslavement, interracial sex, Interrogation,


J

Japanese Bondage,


K

Kicking, kidnapping roleplay, kilts, Kinbaku, Kissing, Kitten Petplay, Klismaphilia, kneeling, Knife Play, knives,


L

lace, Lactation, large labia, Large objects, Latex, Leather, Leaving marks, legs, Lesbian Domination, Librarians, Light Bondage, Lingerie, lipstick, liquor, Lycra/spandex,


M

Maid, Maid Uniforms, Makeup, Making Home Movies, male authority, male submission, martial arts, Masks, Masochism, Massages, Master/Slave, Masturbation, Medical Play, Medieval Devices, Mental Bondage, metal, military, military interrogation, Military Uniforms, mind control, Mind Fucks, Mistress/slave, mistresses with strap-ons, mommy/boy dynamics, Mommy/girl, Monogamy, Multiple Orgasms,

mummification, muscle worship, Muscles, music, Mutual Masturbation,


N

necks, Needle Play, Nipples, Nudity, Nun/Priest Play, NylonLegs & Feet, Nyotaimori,


O

Obedience Training, Objectification, Old Guard Slavery, older women, Online Play, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Orgy, otk spanking, outdoor bondage, Outdoor sex,


P

Paddling, Pain, Panties, Panty-Sniffing, Pantyhose/Stockings, pegging, Percussion Play, Petplay, Petticoats, phone sex, Photography, Piercings, Piggy Play, pigtails, Pin-Ups, Pinching, Pirates, Play Piercing, Play Punishment, Play Rape, Podophilia, polyamory, Pony Play, Porn, Posture Collars, Power Exchange, Predator/prey, Predicament Bondage, Pressure points, pro domme, Prostate Massage, prostate milking, Protocol, Psycholagny, pubic hair, Public Humiliation, public play, punching, Puppy Play, Pursuit, Take-Down & Capture, pussy pumping, pussy worship, PVC,


Q

queening,


R

Red Heads, Religious Play, Remote-Control Devices, Restraints, Retifism, Riding Crops, Rimming, Rituals, robots, Role Play, Rope Bondage/Suspension, rough sex, Rubber,


S

Sacred Sexuality, Sadism, Sadomasochism, sapiosexuality, Saran Wrap, Satin, Scarf bondage, Scarification, Scent, schoolgirl, schoolgirl uniform, Scratching, Seduction, Self-bondage, Sensation Play, Sensory Deprivation, sensual domination, sensual play, Sensual/slave dances, sensualism, Service, Service-oriented submission, sex, Sex During Menstruation, Sex In Public, sex in the cemetery, sex in videostore porn rooms, sex magick, Sex Online, sex with strangers, sexual objectification, sexual slavery, Shackles, shaving, Shemales, Shibari, shoes, Silk, Single Tail Whips, Sissification, sissy panties, sissy training, Sister/brother Roleplay, Skirts, Slapping, Slave Bells, slave tattoos, slavery, sleep, sleep assault, sleepsacks, sleepy sex, sluts, small penis humiliation, small tits, Smoking, smothering, snuggling, Socks, sounds, Spandex, Spanking, speculums, Speech restriction, spiritual bdsm, Spitting, Spreader Bars, Squirting, staples, Stockings, Strap-ons, submission, subspace, superheroes, suspension, Suspension Bondage, Swallowing, sweat, swinging, Switching, swords, sybian,


T

Taboo, Talking Dirty, Tantra, Tattoos, Teacher/Student, tearing off clothing, Tears, Teasing, Tens Unit, threesomes, Tickling, Tit Fucking, tit slapping, toes and feet, toilet, toilet slave, tongue sucking, Tongues, Total Power Exchange, Touching, TOY MAKING, Toys, Trampling, Transexual, transformation, Transgender, Transvestism, Triple Penetration,


U

Uncut Cock, Uniforms, Urethral Fucking, Urethral Sounds,


V

vacuum bed, Vacuum pumping, Vaginal Stretching, Vampires, Velvet, Verbal Humiliation and Degradation, Vibrators, Victorian Lifestyles, Victorian pornography, vintage lingerie, Vintage Porn, vinyl, Violence, violet wand, voice play, vomit, Voyeurism,


W

Wartenberg Pinwheels, water torture, Waterboarding, Waterbondage, Watersports, Wax, webcams, whipping, Whips, WolfPlay, Wrestling, Writing Erotica,


Z

Zentai,

 

Sexual Expression is a Healthy Human Need


Human beings are sexual beings, and our sexuality needs expression.  Sexual urges and desires are a totally normal part of being human.  Finding pleasure and connection through sexual expression is a good thing.  Like any good thing there are limits and boundaries – sexual expression involves respect for yourself and others.  Sexual expression does not necessarily mean you are choosing to have sexual relations with a partner.  Either alone or with a partner, there are many ways to explore and express sexual drives and desire. Sex is not the whole story though.  You are also a sensual being -- the power of simply experiencing your senses as awake and alive can also create a flood of pleasurable feelings.  Being physically touched can be as nourishing as food for human beings....

National Sex Education Hotline

San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI) Switchboard
1-415-989-SFSI (1-415-989-7374).   Free, confidential, accurate, non-judgmental information about sex.


Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance - Freedom of Sexual Expressivity


Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance opposes censorship, and irrational governmental policies regarding obscenity and indecency. We are active in the Free Expression Network (FEN) and work closely with the Free Speech Coalition (FSC), and the Association of Sites Advocating Child Protection (ASACP). We have testified before Congress on these issues and conducted a Congressional briefing to address the issue of Freedom of Speech and Sexual Expression. We remain firmly committed to preserving the right to sexual freedom and erotic expression....

Is a Latex or Lubricant Allergy Preventing You From Exploring Your Sexuality Further?


Allergies to both latex or the spermicide coating on condoms can cause unpleasant burning or discomfort when exposed.  This oftentimes occurs more intensely during receptive intercourse.  A high majority of lubricants on the market today also contain preservatives or other chemical ingredients (such as warming, spermicide, or stabilizers) that can create a similar unpleasant burning or discomfort when exposed, especially during receptive oral/anal/vaginal intercourse.

If you are affected there are other options.  You could try polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms.  These products may have higher breakage rates than latex condoms and therefore may not be as effective in preventing transmission of sexually transmitted infections.  Lambskin condoms are not effective at preventing transmitted infections and oil-based lubricants (such as vaseline or cold-cream) will break down latex condoms causing them to fail.  Here are some other suggestions for addressing any type of allergic or unpleasant reactions to the chemicals used in condoms and lubricants:

1) after putting a condom on, rinse or wipe the condom with water to remove residue or lube

2) try using a non-lubricated condom

3) try using a non-latex condom

4) for anal/vaginal intercourse, try using a purified product (with less chemicals - such as KY Jelly or other medical grade lubricant)

5) for oral/anal/vaginal intercourse, try using a receptive condom (aka female condom), which can be used by men or women and is made out of polyurethane

May is International Masturbation Month


International Masturbation Month with people celebrating across the globe! -- to raise awareness and to highlight the importance of masturbation for nearly everyone: it's safe, it's healthy, it's free, it's pleasurable and it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses. Of all the kinds of sex people can have, masturbation is the most universal and important, yet few people talk about it freely -- worse, many people still feel it is "second best" or problematic in some way. Masturbation Month lets us emphasize how great it is: it's natural, common and fun!
 

The Health Benefits of Sexual Expression


In 1994, the 14th World Congress of Sexology adopted the Declaration of Sexual Rights. This document of “fundamental and universal human rights” included the right to sexual pleasure. This international gathering of sexuality scientists declared, “Sexual pleasure, including autoeroticism, is a source of physical, psychological, intellectual and spiritual well-being” (WAS, 1994). Pioneering researchers have demonstrated many of the various health benefits of sexual expression, including its positive physical, intellectual, emotional, and social dimensions (Ogden, 2001). Although this body of research is limited and often only suggestive when compared with the vast sexological literature on dysfunction, disease, and unwanted pregnancy, we are accumulating data to begin to answer many questions about the potential benefits of sexual expression....

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom On-Line Directory for Kink-Aware Health Professionals


Millions of adults engage in SM, swing, and polyamory activities. Many experience discrimination and persecution due to negative stereotypes that are encouraged by the media and religious political extremists. NCSF's 1998 Violence & Discrimination Survey found that 30 percent of the respondents experienced discrimination, while 36 percent suffered violence or harassment.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is committed to creating a political, legal and social environment in the US that advances equal rights for consenting adults who engage in alternative sexual and relationship expressions. (such as Kink, BDSM, Leather, Swing, etc.).

KAP is a resource for people who are seeking psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are informed about the diversity of consensual, adult sexuality. 

Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) Directory - National Coalition for Sexual Freedom


Poly-Friendly Professionals On-Line Listing


Bisexuality-Aware Professionals Directory


Disability and Barriers to Sexual Expression


There are numerous myths and stereotypes about sexuality and individuals with brain or spinal cord injuries. A common belief is that people in wheelchairs are asexual and don’t have sexual urges or thoughts. Contrary to this mistaken belief, people with disabilities have sexual thoughts, express sexual desire, and are capable of engaging in sexual activities. Individuals with traumatic brain injuries (TBI) and/or spinal cord injuries (SCI) not only have to combat the myths about sexuality and disability but also the many barriers that are brought upon by their injuries. Whether someone is in a 24-hour supervised facility or living at home, people with TBI and SCI face numerous challenges with sexual expression.....

Foundation for Sex Positive Culture and Center for Sex Positive Culture


The Center for Sex Positive Culture is a nonprofit, membership-based community center. The Center was a one-of-a-kind organization at its founding, and remains unique given its nonprofit status and community center architecture. It was established in a bold attempt to create an environment that was accommodating to sex positive communities and transformative in all areas of human sexuality, and has succeeded in creating that environment.  The Center’s mission is to inspire and assist volunteers to produce experiential events where members can explore their sexual interests in a physically and emotionally safe environment.  As a proponent of sex positive culture, the Center believes that the appropriate uses of sex extend beyond reproduction. They include creating personal pleasure, bonding interpersonal relationships, promoting spiritual growth, and enhancing emotional and physical health. In a sex positive world, everyone has the freedom and resources to pursue a fulfilling and empowering sex life....also see: http://thecspc.org/
 
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